home

i miss home more than ever. i ache for the seamless familiarity and depth it brings. eight months of not riding a jeepney can really bore a hole to a person's soul =)... i miss home...i miss my angels... i miss the simplicity of life... i miss playing frisbee out in the streets with manong pedikab driver tooting his horn as he passes by carrying a family of four. i miss manong magtataho. i always look forward to his melodic voice on saturday mornings as he shouts at the top of his lungs, "taaahoooooooo!!!" then, my angels and i will come darting toward the door carrying our mugs as we paint a big wide grin in our faces to welcome his coming. i miss rummaging vintage clothes in ukay-ukay digs. i miss SM more than ever. i miss jollibee. i miss gazing at the majestic view of mt. apo every morning. i miss davao. i miss my nanay and tatay. i miss zaila. i hope that the knowledge of having a greater purpose to serve in a foreign land (at the same time serve my country) will be enough to suffice what i am missing in my life and will give me strength in spirit to continue...

longer days

google says it's the first day of spring, take a look at the masthead =)

everyday could be the first day of everything,

everyday could be full of wonder and bewilderment no matter how mundane it may seem at times. on the other hand, everyday could be a catastrophic war, a struggle within one's self. a struggle to overcome fear dictated by the external environment affecting the balance within. this is the kind of fear that pushes you to the wall and leave you with nothing but a forced smile, if you could afford one. also, fear makes you question fear. is fear an elixir to change and greatness? does the fear of losing your job make you act to become the best at it? does the fear of not living up to another person's expectations rocket launch you to an inevitable change? does the acknowledgement of fear make you strong and allow you to win a hard fought battle? does the awareness of fear, its nagging presence, allow you to know thy enemy (which sometimes could be your own self) and therefore know thy self in the process?

fear does it all. fear destroys and rebuilds. fear shatters and recreates.fear can be fought. fear can be won.