a release...

zaila and i were merry, riding a jeepney, on our way to school. i drop zaila off before i go to work. we were happy, we were merry...laughing at ourselves for not being able to pronounce the word "magis"... we were happy, we were merry in that littlest space of ours.

then came reality...it usually has a habit (though not always) of bursting my bubble just when i thought everything is going smoothly. just when i thought that nothing can ruin my day, that i'll go smiling even when i go to bed later tonight... why is it so HARD for a dream to be realized? why do i have to agonize and feel defeated when the battle has not even began? do i have to wait a little more? am i doing anything wrong? why is this dream so haaaarrrrddddd to reach? when is it best to give up? or should the question be, when is it best to let go? ahhhhhhhhh, my heart is crumbling to pieces.... i gave so much and i will do so much more, so much more that i am willing to tear down the wall that keeps me apart from others...and be a better person, to contribute more, share more of whatever it is that i can offer.

i want to call my mother. text my friend and send huhuhuhus ;( (with a sad smiley) via sms...but i had to keep it to myself, step on the break and wait and PRAY. i do not want to lose this chance...not again.

there's always a way.

"When you want something, the whole Universe conspires to help you realize your desire." - Paulo Coelho